Friday, June 27, 2008

Other People's Snatchers

Last night I found out that a former friend of ours had a daughter on May 13 of this year. It hurt me so much because he's one of those idiots that hasn't done anything to deserve a gift like that. I hate when babies are born on Maddie's birth/angel day. Because I know that people will remember that day as that babies' birthday, but soon if not already people will forget why May 13 means anything to me. Why is it so easy for everyone else? Everywhere I look there's a pregnant woman, a new baby, or a pregnancy announcement. I really wish I knew what was wrong with me.

Back when we started
We didn't know how hard it was
Living on nothing
But what the wind would bring to us
Now we've got something
I can imagine fighting for
So why is fighting all that we're good at anymore

And sometimes I don't have the energy
To prove everybody wrong
And I try my best to be strong
But you know it's so hard
It's so hard

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard

It felt like a given
Something a woman's born to do
A natural ambition
To see a reflection of me and you

And I'd feel so guilty
If that was a gift I couldn't give
And could you be happy
If life wasn't how we pictured it

And sometimes I just want to wait it out
To prove everybody wrong
And I need your help to move on
Cause you know it's so hard
It's so hard

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard

I can live for the moment
When all these clouds open up for me to see
And show me a vision
Of you and me swimming peacefully

Last night you told me
That you can't remember
How to feel free

It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy, easy

It's so hard

-Dixie Chicks "So Hard"

3 comments:

Carrie said...

Big internet hugs to you guys.

Dream Mommy said...

Sometimes it's like no one cares that your child is gone. You speak of happy memories, they change the subject ASAP. I know the feeling. I've seen coworkers at my last job pray for and support those who lost a child, but I was ignored. My principal even mentioned, "Well, you knew she was sick right?" There's two special days that only seem to matter to me, Oct. 18, her birthdate(although I didn't meet her til a month later) and FEb 13, the day she went to heaven. It's hard when people don't understand the pain you feel on these anniversaries. I'm hear anytime you need to talk.

mesa said...

Ashley- I love that song.. I tell you what.. some time the pain eases but the sting of pregnancy announcements will never go away. I can gurantee that. I'm sorry. My sweet Emily was born on the day my friend's son died last year and I immediately thought of that. She is happy though for a new beginning for a sad time. I'll never forget him.