Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Drug of Choice

I was listening to the radio on the way back to work from lunch today, and caught part of a daily devotion. They were talking about how food is some people's drug of choice just like cocaine or heroin. The words drug of choice rang in my ears over and over. Drug of choice....drug of choice.... I've known for years that food is my drug of choice.

I've fought it for more than half my life. But I always go back to it when I'm depressed, happy, angry, anxious, or bored. And it's always there waiting for me like an addict and their favorite dealer. There is no need for me to hide in the shadows because my drug is an acceptable one in the eyes of society. It's everywhere from my office to church. We all know church is somewhere to find some really good food. Food and fellowship go hand in hand.

I spend so much time planning and trying to always give my kids healthy foods especially Bella. I fear that since she shares my genes that one day she may have to battle her weight. That fear brings tears to my eyes. I don't want her to ever have to be the little girl that's promised a new wardrobe of anything she wants if she will just lose 50 pounds over the summer. I don't want her to give up anything she loves because she's tired of being the fluffy one in the group. I need to beat my addiction so that food never becomes her drug of choice. But how?

This brings me to thinking about what I will give up for Lent. Originally I was considering giving up fast food, but with our busy lives that may be impossible. Fast food is not my problem. It's what I choose when I go there. So instead of giving up fast food, I am giving up fried foods. So starting tomorrow, if it's not grilled, steamed, sauteed, raw, or baked I will not consume it. No McDonald's nuggets (oh how I love them) and no deep fried golden sticks of wondrous french fries.

I'm praying that taking this time to actively focus on removing this from my life and giving this struggle over to God will move me in the right direction overall.

A friend mentioned to me that they add something to their lives instead of giving up something during Lent. I like that idea so I will be adding back my morning prayer time before everyone wakes up and we get wrapped up in the day ahead. Some one on one time with my Father sounds like a good thing.