Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Happy 1st Angel Day, Sweet Ella

I remember March 18, 2007 like it was yesterday. I was sitting at my desk and I logged onto one of my message boards. I was hoping for an update on how Mesa and her baby were doing. I was praying at the same time I saw the update post. I opened it and my heart broke once again. I couldn't even control the tears nor the no I yelled at my desk. I could care less what anyone around me thought. I couldn't breathe. I just wanted to run outside and scream. Why did this have to happen to another person? Why did another little baby get their wings far to early? I read the post a 2nd time hoping that I had read it wrong. But no it wasn't wrong. The baby that had been prayed for by so many people all over the country, the baby that so many women on a weight watchers message board had hoped for was gone too soon. Just months before I cried tears of joy when I found out that Mesa was expecting after such a long hard battle to conceive. And now I was sobbing uncontrollably because Mesa had been inducted into a club that no one wants to be a member of. I knew almost immediately what I needed to do. I needed to reach out to her like only another mother of an angel can do. And over this year I've gained a wonderful, beautiful friend. I know today will be a hard day for her. I will pray for her and Will today. And I will remember their angel, Ella Gwen, today and always. You are very loved and very missed.

I did not die young,

I lived the span of my life within your body,

And within your love.

If you would honour me,

Then speak my name and number me amongst your family.

If you would honour me,

Then strive to live in love,

For in that love I live.

Never ever doubt that we will meet again,

And until that day I will grow in Heaven and wait for you.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow,

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight.

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room,

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there, I do not die.

Mary Elizabeth Frye

1 comment:

mesa said...

I love you Ashley my friend and thank you for the love. I'm happy to know Ella and Maddie are holding hands up in heaven just waiting for the day to see their mommies again.