Thursday, July 17, 2008

Bittersweet

Tonight is a typical Thursday night. I'm sitting up in my office at the church listening to the band practice for Sunday. I probably should be working on my overheads for Sunday, but I do most of my work on Saturdays after everyone has sent me what they want like the sermon, announcements, and song lists for both services. I'm looking forward to dinner tonight at Yummy Yummy Thai Restaurant after last nights disaster of a meal at what used to be my favorite sushi bar. We went for sushi last night since Rob got a gift certificate to there from work. We usually wait until he earns enough bonus points aka golden tickets at work to trade in for a gift certificate since sushi is so damn expensive. Well we get there and find out that they are under new management and have a whole new menu. WTF? The new menu has less sushi on it and more meals that you would find at any other fine restaurant. How the hell can you have less sushi than other crap at a freaking sushi bar! One of the rolls we had was so disgusting it almost made me throw up. The soft shell crab roll used to be wonderful, but now it's an overcooked greasy mess. We won't be going back there again!

As one of my online friends pointed out to me I'm nesting. I've been getting all the clothes and sheets we have ready to be washed. Last night Rob and I spent almost an hour removing tags from the clothes and taking things out of boxes. Some people have said that I shouldn't do that. I should leave them with the tags since we don't know what age child we will get, and if I leave the tags on I will be able to sell them for more. But I have no plans to sell anything, any time soon. We may not get an infant right off the bat, but we haven't given up on having another baby either. I will never give up. I know in my heart that I will one day give birth to another baby, a healthy baby that will come home with us.

While I was taking tags off of clothes I came to the dress I bought the day we confirmed that we were having our little Madison. It's a simple pink jumper dress with flowers embroidered on the front waistband with a white and pink flowered onesie underneath. That was the dress that Madison was going to come home in. That dress that picked out for her, and I can't bring myself to let that go yet. I just want it to stay perfect just the way it is. I need it to stay perfect just like my little angel. I may change my mind at some point, but right now I can't. Rob tried to talk me into putting it with the other clothes, but once he looked me in my eyes he didn't resist me anymore. So the dress is still hanging in the back of the closet where it might stay, and it might not. It's rather bittersweet to move towards using all the baby stuff we have, but not use it for the person it was originally intended for.

Oh yeah I also found out today that I have some co-workers and the boss lady reading my blog. I had no idea they even knew where it was. So hi! Now I know where all those Monroe hits on my people tracker are coming from. I guess I won't talk about ya'll anymore now. LOL!

2 comments:

Kristine said...

I just love reading your blog, especially on my sad days, because we share so many of the same feelings. :) Glad to know that I'm not the only one shopping too, and in various sizes. It doesn't hurt to be prepared, and retail therapy helps sometimes, doesn't it? I don't blame you for saving Madison's dress as is. You will know when and if you're ready...Have a great week!

Dream Mommy said...

There are some clothes for Princess I put in a box and noone will ever wear them. Can't explain it either. Hubby is very protective of her clothes too. Don't take it out for other babies if you don't feel comfortable. I've been busy in class but still thinking about you. Email me if you need to talk.