Dirty South

This is what I saw in someone's yard tonight on the way to Rob's aunt and uncle's house in what I will nicely call the country.

WTF? I have never seen a lawn jockey in real life ever. Living in the deep south is so much effing fun. Even when I try to ignore its meaning I still wonder why the hell would you want that in your yard? But I guess this is to be expected of some people in the south in 2008.

Being an adult sucks!

Today started off shitty for me and it's still sucking. I woke up completely exhausted even though I went to bed at a reasonable time and slept well last night. Then I get to work and not even 10 minutes after I get here, I get a call. I've spent my entire day at work looking through old tariffs dating back to 1978 up to 2008. And I'm still no closer to finding what I'm looking for than I was at 8:15 this morning. It just drives me crazy. This is not where I imagined I would be when I was little and dreaming of being an adult. I'm a fucking glorified librarian/legal secretary/researcher/mind reader. Did I really go to school all those years to be this? I should have majored in something like pharmacy or engineering not finance. Damn hindsight is 20/20. I know it wouldn't be as bad if I even felt the least bit appreciated or valued. But when you see people getting promotions for no damn reason, and you're still the same low peon it wears on you. I'm supposed to jump through rings of fire while singing and tap dancing while others sit on their asses and may or may not ever do their job, but they are rewarded for it. Our department is run on a skeleton crew while others get new people all the time. But we don't fucking matter because we don't make money for the company we just keep the company's ass out of the fire day in and day out. And any money that our department does generate from all the work we do gets credited to some other area that didn't do half of the work. Damn, why the hell did I want to be an adult?

Time for a laugh

more cat pictures

I also came across the LOL Cat bible today and I've been laughing and laughing. Check it out.

LOL Cat Bible

Fuzzy Heathen

My kitten has driving me crazy lately, but he's pushing his luck today. I ordered him soft paws, those plastic caps that you can use instead of declawing a cat, a few weeks ago. Rob put them on him and they helped a little. But several have some off and been reapplied again and again. Right now he's missing several and has decided that he would rather claw the rugs in the house instead of the nice catnip covered scratching post. I've shot that cat with water guns more times than I can remember today, but as soon as he's dry he's doing it again! Ughhhh. I really don't want to declaw him, but I also can't take another animal destroying stuff. I already have an effed up couch and recliner because of Rob's dog. Rob keeps telling me that the kitten will grow out of it, but damn that needs to happen soon.

But other than that annoyance I've had a pretty good and relaxing day. I slept late, thank God, and then stayed in bed watching TV until 1 in the afternoon. It's nice not having anything at all to do sometimes. I know that will change once we have a child in the house, but that's a change that I welcome.

I Hate PC People!

I’m in one of my moods, and I have been for a while. But I’ve managed to hide it from most people. Rob sees it more than anyone because he’s stuck living with me, but he usually ignores me when I get really bad. So here’s the source of my rant for today. I read a lot of blogs on a few subjects. I read about other people’s journeys after the loss of a child. I read about my friends lives and how they are doing since so many of them live all over the country. And I read foster/adopt blogs because that is where I am now, and I find them helpful and inspiring.

But last night I came across someone’s blog that was recommended by another blogger that I read from time to time. I probably should have stopped reading once I realized that the blog writer was some ubber hippy tree hugging PC bitch. She has a list of all the things people should do or remember when they are adopting. At first I thought it was focused on private adoptions, but then I noticed references to foster/adopt. One of her “tips” is that infertility does not buy you a ticket to raise someone else’s child. That shit just pissed me off. How the hell can you say something like that? Every “Infertile” that I know, and it’s a lot of them that chooses to adopt doesn’t think that way. Once you’ve experienced the hurt and betrayal by your own body you are well aware of other people’s pain. I’ve never thought that losing my daughter or being infertile earns me a “free” baby. You can’t judge an infertile person or angel baby mama until you’ve been one.

Then the blog writer goes on to say that you shouldn’t call the adopted child’s biological mother their birthmother. She thinks that’s degrading. We should be PC or politically correct and call them the original mother or first mother. How about we take it one step further and call them the Omega Mother since they were the beginning mother, and I can be the Alpha Mother since I’m the end mother? I think that really is a personal choice that should be based on the situation. People should not be made to feel they are wrong for using the term birthmother just because some people don't like it. If you don't like it then don't use it!

I’ve seen some “mothers” who are nothing but a human version of a cat in heat. They have children left and right and throw them away as soon as they can. They don’t care for the baby while they are carrying them so why should they be called anything more than birthmother. Because that’s all they did was give birth. I think that’s a nice term to call them because I can come up with some other things to call them that are not so nice. Now I know that a large majority of mother’s that place their child for adoption (notice I said place them for adoption) did so out of love for that child, and they should be respected for that difficult decision. But to make a blanket statement to say that all women that have a child that’s adopted by someone, regardless of the situation, should be treated the same is idiotic.

In my opinion some one that hurts or neglects their child should lose that child. I know that each child’s case is different, but some are very cut and dry. You injure a child, you’re done. You sexually abuse a child, you’re done. (Well, actually you should be drawn and quartered, but that another rant) You abandon a child, you’re done. I’m don’t believe that a child is a pawn of the birthparents nor is that child property of the birthparents to do with as they please. Gapping your legs and getting knocked up or dropping some sperm off in somebody does not make you a parent. Taking care of a child, providing for a child, loving a child, and protecting a child makes you a parent. Blood doesn’t make a family. Parents are not born, they are created.

No Progress

I'm at home sick and feeling funky today. I hate my sinuses. I hate, hate, hate them! The past few weeks have been horrible. It seems like every other day my head feels like it's going to explode, and it's a crap shoot if I will be able to breathe out of my nose or if it will be running and dripping all day. I've had a fever on and off since yesterday, and it sucks because I sweat all the time anyway and this just makes me feel like I'm having hot flashes. Ughhhhh! I'm doping myself up and will continue so that I can hopefully go to work tomorrow. I hate using my time off. I feel like I need to conserve my time so we can have some sort of vacation this year together. We will probably visit my brother and his girlfriend in Plano again this year. There is so much to do in the Dallas area that we have things left on our list from last year's visit. I just found out last week that my brother's girlfriend, Janet, is expecting. So in a couple of months I will have my 1st niece or nephew, and I will definitely make the drive to Dallas to be there for the birth if at all possible. The whole baby thing was shock to my brother, and an even bigger life change than it is for most people. This whole thing is bringing his life as he knows it to an end. J wants him to move in with her in her home. But that will mean giving up his apartment. This is the apartment that he and his wife lived in together until her death almost 3 years ago. This is closing a chapter of his life and his past without much of a notice. But he wants to do the right thing for everyone. I just pray he makes the right decision for him and his child. Our family has seen so much loss in the past few years that it's time for the joy and happiness that a new child can bring.

Rob called and actually got our home study case worker, A, on the phone. But now that his schedule has changed to 10 hour days it makes it harder to get both of us together with A. I get off at 5 and he doesn't get off until 6:30 Tuesday-Friday. He's off on Mondays, but A is booked solid on her schedule until August 13. That is freaking forever away. So we're in a stand still until almost a month from now. A said that she will try to rearrange some things to get to see us before then, but I'm not holding my breath. I was hoping and praying that we would finish our home study a lot sooner than the 90 days they have to finish it. I really wonder if we can still possibly get called for a placement before our home study is approved. I get so many different answers to that question, some say yes and others say probably not. So I guess we're at the end of the line right now, if we are even in line at this point.

I Miss Her

I don't have much to say right now. Just feeling kind of down. Lots of new babies coming soon, and we're still at a stand still. On my way to work I remembered a quote another angel mommy found that I really love. It makes me smile when I get really down:

"They say that time in heaven is compared to 'the blink of an eye' for us on this earth. Sometimes it helps me to think of my child running ahead of me through a beautiful field of wildflowers and butterflies; so happy and completely caught up in what she is doing that when she looks behind her, I'll already be there."
~ author unknown

Bittersweet

Tonight is a typical Thursday night. I'm sitting up in my office at the church listening to the band practice for Sunday. I probably should be working on my overheads for Sunday, but I do most of my work on Saturdays after everyone has sent me what they want like the sermon, announcements, and song lists for both services. I'm looking forward to dinner tonight at Yummy Yummy Thai Restaurant after last nights disaster of a meal at what used to be my favorite sushi bar. We went for sushi last night since Rob got a gift certificate to there from work. We usually wait until he earns enough bonus points aka golden tickets at work to trade in for a gift certificate since sushi is so damn expensive. Well we get there and find out that they are under new management and have a whole new menu. WTF? The new menu has less sushi on it and more meals that you would find at any other fine restaurant. How the hell can you have less sushi than other crap at a freaking sushi bar! One of the rolls we had was so disgusting it almost made me throw up. The soft shell crab roll used to be wonderful, but now it's an overcooked greasy mess. We won't be going back there again!

As one of my online friends pointed out to me I'm nesting. I've been getting all the clothes and sheets we have ready to be washed. Last night Rob and I spent almost an hour removing tags from the clothes and taking things out of boxes. Some people have said that I shouldn't do that. I should leave them with the tags since we don't know what age child we will get, and if I leave the tags on I will be able to sell them for more. But I have no plans to sell anything, any time soon. We may not get an infant right off the bat, but we haven't given up on having another baby either. I will never give up. I know in my heart that I will one day give birth to another baby, a healthy baby that will come home with us.

While I was taking tags off of clothes I came to the dress I bought the day we confirmed that we were having our little Madison. It's a simple pink jumper dress with flowers embroidered on the front waistband with a white and pink flowered onesie underneath. That was the dress that Madison was going to come home in. That dress that picked out for her, and I can't bring myself to let that go yet. I just want it to stay perfect just the way it is. I need it to stay perfect just like my little angel. I may change my mind at some point, but right now I can't. Rob tried to talk me into putting it with the other clothes, but once he looked me in my eyes he didn't resist me anymore. So the dress is still hanging in the back of the closet where it might stay, and it might not. It's rather bittersweet to move towards using all the baby stuff we have, but not use it for the person it was originally intended for.

Oh yeah I also found out today that I have some co-workers and the boss lady reading my blog. I had no idea they even knew where it was. So hi! Now I know where all those Monroe hits on my people tracker are coming from. I guess I won't talk about ya'll anymore now. LOL!

Realizations

Last night was our last group meeting for our foster care certification. We had a pretty large crowd with lots of people coming to show their support for members of our class. Both sets of our parents made it, and I was happy to see them. Most the speakers were good. It was very informative to find out about the process that goes on before the kids actually enter the system. Then we heard from a fairly new foster parent. Jen finished classes in January and was called for her 1st placement the next day. I don't expect that to happen to us, but it would be wonderful if it did. I was surprised to see Jen there. We know each other through Rob's aunt. Jen's daughter, Lainey, was stillborn a few months after Madison was born. Rob's aunt gave her Madison's memorial site, and we started to email back and forth for a while after that. I had no idea that I actually knew someone in my area that's fostering too. We also have the same home study worker, A. Jen says that A is a good person to have and works hard at her job.

After Jen spoke we heard from a former foster child that's now a 40 year old married mother of 2. Her story brought the room to tears, and really brought home the need for good foster care parents. She talked about the 3 foster homes she was in over a 2 year period starting at age 8. 1 of them was closed due to abuse. The father was sexually abusing the girls in the home, and the reason it came to light was that one of the girls got pregnant. It broke my heart to listen to her talk about never telling anyone she was abused until years later, and not caring if the man was ever convicted just as long as he was never allowed to foster children again. She talked about a memory from that home of going clothes shopping for school, and being taken to the cheap store to buy her clothes. Then the mom took her biological kids to a nicer store, and bought them designer clothes. It's been almost 30 years since that incident, and you can still hear the hurt in her voice. I just can't imagine taking a child into my home only to treat them like a 2nd class citizen. She went into the system with 2 older sisters and lost both of them within a year, one ran away and the other was moved to a home that didn't keep the lines of communication open among the siblings. It was wonderful to hear that her last foster home turned out to be the best. They loved her like a child deserves to be loved. Her foster dad walked her down the aisle, and they are her children's grandparents now. That family also loved her and her mother. They even helped her mother once she was released from prison, one month after she graduated from high school.

When I left there I was ready to get another bedroom ready in our home to help as many children as we could when the time came. I was so inspired to take action. But I know that I just need to focus on being ready for one right now, but if God sees fit to hand me more I will cross that bridge then. I know that even helping one child at a time is making a huge difference in the world of that child. We most likely will turn my office into a bedroom again, but not right now. It's going to take some planning, purging of some items, and hard work. It's not really something that can be done in a night. So now we're just waiting to hear back from our home study worker to have our 2nd visit. I hope she gets back to me tomorrow since I called her this morning, but she was out on calls and visits.

Patience is a virtue...patience is a virtue.

MAPP Graduation

Tonight is our last meeting we have to attend to complete our certification classes. Last night I felt like a little kid waiting for school to start. I kept waking up thinking it was time to get up. I woke up at 3 and 5 this morning ready to get out of bed. Thank God I'm not tired now. This session will be a panel discussion showing all aspects of the foster care system from when an investigation begins all the way through TPR and adoption. There will be a former foster child there to speak about their life in the system also. We will have a dinner sponsored by the Foster Parents association, and get to meet several of them. Both my parents and Rob's parents will attend with us since they will be part of our support system once we receive a placement. I'm excited about tonight's meeting. It's putting us another step closer to our goal. We're also 30 days into the 90 day period that the home study case worker has to complete our home study. Dear Lord, let it not take the whole 90 days. I guess I'll have to change my countdown from completing MAPP classes to home study approval. It's still hard to believe that we're at this point all ready.

Domestic Diva

I'm feeling very domestic and homey right now. I reorganized our pantry, and I've got a much better idea of what we have and don't have. I love, love, love Lock-N-Lock containers. Savings space and keeping things fresh, what's not to love! Then I made sweet pickles. I've never done anything like this before. My mom was never the canning and making things like jams or pickles person. My grandmother was, but I was too young to really learn anything from her like that. But this summer my dad's garden has been producing tons and tons of veggies. So I have several pounds of cucumbers, zucchini, butternut squash, spaghetti squash, and tomatoes in our house right now, and I know there will be more to come. So I looked for an easy pickle recipe to use up the cucumbers. I found one that only needs 24 hours before it's done. I hope it turns out good. I'm a little worried because the recipe said that the 2 pounds of cucumbers should fit in a 1 quart jar. I was able to get about 1 pound jammed into a jar so I put the remainder in another jar. I had to make a double batch of the liquid to cover the cucumbers in both jars, but they are now cooling in the fridge. I'll let you know how they taste tomorrow.

Yesterday we spent the evening with friends grilling and spending time with their new baby, Miranda. Rob and another friend, Keith, helped them move a huge 60 inch floor model tv from our pastor's house to theirs. Our pastor, the TV guru, upgraded to a nice wall mounted flat screen so he gave them an awesome deal on a fairly new TV. So I got plenty of baby holding and cuddle time yesterday. Ooooh I hope we get called for a baby soon. But it's just nice to get away from everything and just spend time with friends.

Miranda much more alert on this visit!

Time to burp the baby!

Robin, Abbey, and Dan-O visiting with baby Miranda. Dan-O doesn't really care for babies because they are "mean". LOL!

Preeclampsia Fundraiser

I'm trying to figure out how I want to do Maddie's quilt square this year for the annual Preeclampsia Memorial Quilt. This is the square we did last year, and I think it turned out great since we're not the best crafters.
I tried to make it very symbolic, and use things that meant a lot to me or remind me of Maddie. We had 6 stars, one for each month she was carried inside of me, and a monarch butterfly because every time I see one I smile and think of my baby girl. So since we have more time and some experience with making a memorial square I want this one to be fantastic. I haven't completely laid it out in my head, but I'm thinking of making a huge monarch butterfly sewn onto the square in small beads with Madison 5-13-06 embroidered on there in pink.

I love being able to make a difference in this world in her memory. Last year's quilt raised several thousands of dollars for preeclampsia research, and I hope this one will raise even more.

Fun Times

We went out to dinner with the band and a couple of other people after practice tonight. And all I can say is that I had an awesome time. I don't know the last time I've laughed so much in my life. I was actually hurting when we left. I think I forgot to breathe a couple of times. One of the guys, Bobby, was talking about his "former" life when he was in the adult film industry. He asked everyone if they could guess what his name was then. And before I knew it I blurted out "Shorty". The whole table exploded in laughter and I laughed so hard I cried. It was priceless. It really makes me feel good to just spend an evening with friends being silly. Well, off to bed now. Thank God tomorrow's Friday!

Silly Things About Me

I'm stealing this survey from some of my CO peeps. Thanks!

Change all the answers so they apply to you, then tag or link to your friends so they do they same. The theory is that you’ll learn a lot of silly little factoids about your blogging buddies, including things you may never have known. Ready! Set! Go!

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30 am
2. Do you prefer diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last movie you saw in a cinema? Bleach: Memories of Nobody
4. What is your favorite TV show? Naruto, Family Guy, Bleach
5. What do you usually eat for breakfast? grits and eggs
6. What’s your middle name? Frededrian... Now pronounce that!
7. What food do you dislike? unagi (eel)
8. What’s your favorite CD at the moment? Casting Crown - The Alter and the Door
9. What kind of car do you drive? 2008 Chevy Equinox
10. What’s your favorite sandwich? philly cheese steak
11. What characteristic do you despise? Lying
12. What’s your favorite item of clothing? capris
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Japan
14. Are you an organized person? I try to be.
15. Where do you want to retire to? Hilton Head, SC
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? 2006, I was pregnant with my little angel. 17. What are you going to do when you finish this? Get back to work
18. Furthest place you are sending this? Cyberspace
19. Person you expect to fill it out first? Who knows
20. What’s on your bathroom counter? Make-up case, toothbrushes, hand soap, electric razor, beard trimmer, inhaler
21. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Night owl
22. What’s your shoe size? 11
23. Any pets? 2 dogs, 1 cat, 3 turtles...zoo!
24. Any new & exciting news you’d like to share? We'll be certified foster parents next week (July 15).
25. What did you want to be when you were little? a doctor
26. How are you today? Sleepy and ready for the weekend
27. What’s your favorite flower? Black magic roses
28. What’s the next date you’re looking forward to? July 15th
29. What are you listening to right now? Prince on my mp3 player
30. What’s the last thing you ate? scrambled eggs, hash browns, and saugsage
31. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Pink of course
33. How is the weather right now? Hot and humid as hell
34. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? co-worker in NC
35. Favorite soft drink? Coke
36. Favorite restaurant? Kyoto Sushi and Bar
37. Hair color? dark brown with caramel/blond highlights
38. What was your favorite toy as a child? cabbage patch doll
39. Summer or winter? winter
40. Do you like your hair? Sometimes
41. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
42. Coffee or tea? Tea
43. Do you prefer your friends e-mail or call you? E-mail...I hate talking on the phone
44. When was the last time you cried? A couple of days ago...I miss my little girl.
45. What’s under your bed? the naughty drawer
46. What did you do last night? visited my parents, cooked dinner, and went to bed
47. What are you afraid of? Never being able to have another child that lives.
48. Salty or sweet? Either...depends on my mood.
49. How many keys are on your key ring? 8
50. How long have you been at your current job? 3 1/2 years
51. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
52. Do you make friends easily? I guess
53. How many brothers & sisters do you have? 1 older brother
54. Are your parents still married? Yep
55. Do you like finding little details about your friends? Yep

Last Class

Well, we're done with MAPP classes now! Next week will be our last official meeting, but it's basically a dinner and panel of experts discussing all aspects of foster care and adoption. I'm hoping that my parents will be up to coming that night. So now we're just waiting until our home study is done which can take up to 90 days from when we turned in our paperwork back on the 17th of June. I'm praying that it won't take that long to finish and get a baby placed with us. Tonight was a good class and a lot of open discussions on bonds, attachments to birth families, and fostering in general. I found it interesting and kind of sad that some people really couldn't grasp the fact that we live in the south, and it might not be the best for a child to be dropped into a close knit community full of people of another race that's not used to having anyone "different" living with them. The social workers kept trying to explain it to them, but they just weren't getting it. One of the CW told a story about a set of biracial twin babies that were placed in an all white close minded community. The case worker ended up picking the kids up about an hour after he left because the foster parent called and said that they didn't think it would work because the kids were biracial. One why didn't the foster parent just say that before the CW drove an hour to bring the kids? You should know in your heart what you can and can't handle when it comes to something like race. It's one of the 1st things people notice. It's not like it's something you learn later when you meet someone face to face! I know it's probably wrong, but I hope that Rob and I being an interracial couple will play in our favor. We've got both cultures in one home, and all of our extended family has no problem with it. So I guess the waiting game really begins now.

Visit #1 Done!

We had our 1st home study visit this evening, and I think it very well. A, the case worker, came by about 5:15 and stayed for a little over an hour. She looked at the pictures I took of all of the rooms in the house to help speed our process along. They were exactly what she wanted so we marked that part off the list. She looked at our wedding memory book that's on our coffee table because she's never seen an actual printed and bound book for wedding photos. Most of the questions that were asked were directed to me since I was done with all my questions on the paperwork. Rob still has several pages to go, but she said that was fine since she has make a 2nd visit anyway. So we will turn in our completed paperwork then. I was a little miffed that she didn't look at any of the rooms in person or check for any of the safety stuff. Maybe she assumed that we had done the whole house since you could plainly see the cabinet locks on our china hutch in the dining room when she came in the house. Our next visit will be in about a week or so. She'll give us a call to schedule it since she forgot her work calendar.

I've been promising pictures of the nursery for weeks. Here are the ones I took and gave to the case worker. I still can't get the true color of the walls to come through on camera. Enjoy!

Home Study

Today is the day of our home study. I've been so stressed out the past few days and especially last night. We ended up having to spend the day with Rob's family, and that threw off my whole work schedule. We were up until 2 AM last night trying to finish off things and clean the house. We're still not done. I'm leaving work at 2 to do the dishes, sweep again and mop again, clean up the animals, and pick up some last minute things from Wal-mart! All in 3 hours. I will probably crash like a ton of bricks as soon as the social worker leaves. We're almost there thank God! I can see an end in sight and hopefully my head will see my pillow soon too. So tired.

Great deals!

I'm going through withdrawls right now, our internet at home is down. Stupid Bell*South! It won't be up until tomorrow, I hope. So I'm sitting in my office at the church while the band practices for Sunday blogging and shopping online. I've been spending a lot of time on eBay looking for deals on baby stuff. So far I've gotten several awesome ones for crib sheets, clothes, and hooded towels. I've been driving myself nuts the past few days looking for a swing that doesn't cost an arm and leg. eBay has been a bust because the shipping costs are ridiculous for most items that size. We almost bought one last night from Wal-Mart for $100, but I decided to wait and keep looking. This morning I remembered Craigslist, and that we now have listings for our area. So I pulled it up, and guess what I found? I got an almost brand new Graco Lovin Hug swing for only $45!!! Her baby only used it for 2 weeks, and he's only 9 months old now. I'm too excited about my deal!
I also snagged an Exersaucer in excellent condition for $25! I just need to find somewhere to put it until I need it, but I couldn't pass up a deal like that. I'm still on the hunt for a glider or a traditional rocker for the nursery. I just refuse to settle for one that doesn't match to only save a few bucks. There's a wood craftsman that has a shop not too far from us, and I plan to stop over there and check out a rocker. We got the gun safe last night, and the lock for the closet that has the swords and other weapons in it now. We're about 90% done with the child proofing. We still have a couple of cabinets that are proving difficult to secure. Once the garbage men come tomorrow, and haul away all the boxes and stuff we can really start cleaning this weekend. I'm too excited about getting all the excess boxes out of my house and out of my way!

We still have a lot of the home study questions to fill out, but it's hard. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't ask the same question 4 different ways right after each other. My hand is aching just thinking out it. But we will have it all done for Monday. Wow, time is really moving fast.

Well, I probably won't check back in tomorrow so Happy 4th to everyone!

Our Company

Check out our CEO, Glen Post, on the phone with Jim Cramer of Mad Money talking about the huge dividend increase that was issued a few days ago. National exposure and a Buy rating from Jim Cramer! Yay!

http://www.cnbc.com/id/15840232?video=781581975

Coming together

We bought the crib mattress and some more baby proofing items last night. I was hoping to get the same mattress that my co-worker suggested from Target. It was a $55.00 Sealy mattress with 150 steel coils so it would be nice and firm. But our Target was out. I checked Burlington Coat Factory and Wal-Mart too. But neither of them had a decent firm mattress for a good price in stock. So I ended up at Toys R Us, and thankfully they had a nice Sealy 150 coil mattress that's nice and firm in stock for $69.99. I jumped on it since our home study is next Monday! It fits perfectly in our crib, and Rob and I had a time trying to figure out how to install the bumper pad. I'm not sure I like it that much. I may have my mother-in-law add some more ties to it so it will be tighter around the sides of the crib. We're still having a heck of time getting some of the cabinets secured since the handles are so far apart. We've tried 3 different locking systems and none of them fit! Any suggestions would be appreciated. We're at the point now of trying to move the handles on the cabinets, but I'd prefer not too since that will leave some ugly holes in very visible cabinets.

Tonight is Class # 5 which will be on discipline. I think it's going to be interesting to learn about other forms of discipline. Because both Rob and I were raised getting our butts spanked, and that's not an option with a foster child.