Saturday, February 23, 2008

Wall Flower

We had a business trip this past Thursday to Shreveport. It's only about 1 1/2 hours away, but I knew I should be prepared with my mp3 player full of music and videos. I knew that with a van full of mothers the conversation would soon turn to babies. I would be able to smile and listen happily to some of it, but I knew at some point I would have to retreat to my corner of the world. It's like being at a ball that starts with the guys inside and the girls outside sitting on a bench. One by one the girls are chosen to be mothers. And one by one they leave to go inside to the ball. You hear all the laughter and you can see the smiling faces. But then you remember that you're still outside of the party. I used to love being online chatting with friends, but one by one they all went inside to the ball. I still try to keep up with their lives, but it hurts too much sometimes. Especially when you're still outside, and others are having their 2nd and 3rd trips to the ball. I got to go inside to the ball once, but only for a moment. I blinked and I was back outside alone sitting on the bench. When will I get to dance again?

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