Friday, February 15, 2008

So full of emotions

I'm hurting. I'm sad. I'm weepy. I'm just plain tired of working so hard for something that is so easy for so many people. All I want is to be a mother again. Is that too much to ask for? In the past week I have heard about so many people getting pregnant AGAIN. Some of these people are deserving, but so many others are not. I don't give a damn if its wrong to say who deserves to have a child and who doesn't. Because all of you PC stick up your ass people know you agree with me. You may not have the nerve to ever say it, but you do. You know there are lots of people that should be spayed or neutered just like a pet because if they aren't they will keep increasing the population and expecting everyone else to pay for it. Today is one of those days when I have to choose between curling up in a ball and dying or trying to continue carrying the cross I have to bear.

I've been sitting here at my desk working and trying to block out the world by listening to my music. When a song comes on that makes me just stop and listen. It's like my little angel knew her mama needed a kick in the ass today, and she was the only person who could do it. These are the words I just heard:

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes...

This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes...

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes

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