Tuesday, May 20, 2008

I'm still here

I know it's been a long time, well at least a long time for me since I posted. But I'm still alive and I guess well. Robert and I had a very nice day celebrating our daughter's life last Tuesday. We added a new wind chime and flag to her grave. I love the new chime it's much bigger and sound so beautiful when the wind blows. We did another balloon launch like we did for her last birthday. This time there were 24 pink balloon in memory of every month she's been away from us. We went to the movies and had a nice relaxing lunch alone. Then we came home and played a game. It was really a nice day. I'm glad that it was just us so we could really just think of her and be completely laid back and unstressed.

Well, Clomid cycle #2 was a bust. But I kind of figured it would be because my temperatures never truly confirmed ovulation, and the cheap ass ovulation tests I used gave me some very confusing information. So now I'm 6 days into my next cycle, and I have the HSG or dye test scheduled for tomorrow. I'm praying that it will do the trick and we won't have to go on to anything more expensive. Hell the damn dye test isn't covered under my stupid insurance. They only cover drug therapy, artificial insemination, and IVF up to $1,000 a year. Gee thanks IVF is about $10,000 per round. And what's better is that the insurance has a lifetime maximum of $3,000. I hate insurance companies so much sometimes. They just screw you over any chance they get. So this cycle will be natural. I'm taking my soy to hopefully mimic the Clomid and I'll be swilling cough syrup too. It would be wonderful if the HSG just knocked some stuff loose and helped me get pregnant this cycle.

I've been so busy at work the past couple of weeks that when I get home I don't want to do anything except crash on the couch and read smut. Yep it's nice to just zone out and let your brain go into the gutter sometimes :)


niobe said...

That insurance sounds truly worthless, at least as far as IF treatments go.

And the pictures? They're lovely and sad at the same time. Especially those beautiful pink balloons drifting towards the sky.

Patty said...

I have been praying extra-hard for you throughout the entire month of May.

Your pictures made me cry. Happy birthday, Maddie. We still miss you. We always will.