Monday, May 5, 2008
Apprehensive or Just Scared
Last week I went to an orientation for the state foster/adopt program. I listened to all the information and I was lucky that one of the attendees is an adoptive mother through this same program. She's coming back to do it again. It was helpful to hear from someone that's been through it all before. The social worker was nice, and very honest. They are not really an adoption agency, and "perfect" babies are hard to come by. They had lots of older kids and need to be adopted. But that's not really what Rob and I want. I think it would be weird for two 28 year olds to adopt a teenager or even a preteen. We would consider a toddler. But at the same time the thought of packing up all the baby stuff in the nursery and turning it into a kid's bedroom breaks my heart. We have tried for a baby for so long, and we have so much stuff. We could have the room ready for baby in a day. We're got the crib, dresser, and changing table. We've got all the organizers, bath supplies, and a lot of clothes for either a boy or a girl. I feel like I'm giving up on my dreams if we don't have or adopt a baby. The problem with all the children under 3 in LA foster care that are up for adoption now are severely handicapped. They are on feeding tubes, blind, or severely retarded. I wouldn't have had a problem if this was Madison since we would have faced these same things if she had lived, but in my heart I know that I can't go out looking for that type of challenge. We both work full time and raising a child that needs that much care is a full time job. But I would have given it all up for Madison. Rob and I decided that we will continue on and attend the 7 weeks of training classes in order to be certified and have our home study done since it is ultimately our decision on who we adopt. It will take about 3 months for us to be certified, and a lot can change in 3 months.