Monday, July 9, 2007


A friend of mine has been talking about adopting and another friend is adopting a beautiful baby boy soon. We've all been touched by the loss of our children and don't really trust our bodies that much anymore. I've looked at adoption on and off, but not seriously really. It's so expensive. There's no way even with our employer helping that Rob and I could afford that for years. But I went and looked at the state of Louisiana's adoption site again Saturday night. I saw a little baby girl named Sarah, and I can't get her out of my mind. She's so tiny in the picture, and it doesn't say why but her medical condition is listed as terminal. Rob has been thinking about her too. He thinks we're thinking about her because she reminds of us Madison.

When Maddie was born the doctors told Rob that if she survived she was probably be blind and severely handicapped. They asked him if we wanted them to try to save her. I think that was one of the stupidest questions. Duh! She's our daughter no matter what. We wouldn't have loved her any less if she was blind or handicapped. We wanted Madison no matter what, but it wasn't our decision to make. She wasn't meant to stay in this world. She was meant for bigger things.

We both know that we couldn't bear to lose another child, but damn it's so hard to just ignore her. I want to take care of her. I want to make her life better.I just pray that her foster family loves her.


pattyo said...

I've been missing you, Ashley. Thanks for sending me this link. xoxo

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say hello, and thanks for sharing this with me. I wish you nothing but the best and will check in on you often!