Coming out of hiding

... kind of. I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged. I've been so busy with work and the kids and traveling. There have been some changes in Fuzzy's case plan and not for the better. The judge decided that Fuzzy's BM was not getting enough time to bond with him since the case plan was left as reunification so she ordered him to start overnight visits every other weekend. WTF? This dumb bitch completely ignored the CW and CASA's recommendation that the BM get longer SUPERVISED visits and work from there. Nope, the judge decided to throw an 11 month old into a place he's never been before, without anything that will give him a sense of security, alone with his BM that per the CASA volunteer "thinks that he is like a baby doll not a real human being." So this Saturday, I have to hand over my son to an idiot that will probably do God knows what to him because she doesn't like to follow directions from anyone. I won't know how he's doing until I get him back the next day. She has my cell phone number in case of emergency, but WTF am I supposed to do when she's 50 minutes away from me? I don't understand anyone with a brain thinking this is a good idea. The judge actually decided this after the BM threw a temper tantrum in court because she thought that since they were going to court she was getting him back that day. Even though the CW has talked to her 2 times before telling her that they were recommending that she work her plan for another 6 months. On top of all that, it came out that she has a history of drug abuse and has not been tested to see if she's using now or not! I was literally sick when the CW called me with this news, and I'm getting worse as the day draws near. Fuzzy has been sick for the last week and is very moody and high maintenance right now. I pray that he will be safe with her, but I'm not sure that he will be.

On a happier note, my brother and his girlfriend got married this weekend. It was a lovely small wedding with just family and some close friends. I got to be the photographer, and use my bro's new Ca*non EOS R*ebel T 1i. I'm in love with that bad boy. I can't wait to see the printed pictures. I was the 1st person to take pictures with it :) We took both kids with us to TX, and that was something I don't ever plan to do again. L had a screaming fit for about 10 minutes the 1st night in the hotel out of no where. And Fuzzy refused to sleep more than an hour or so at a time the whole 2nd night. I was exhausted. I'm still tired. For the most part, we all enjoyed the trip. And I'm just thrilled to have Janet as my sister-in-law and her son, Alex, as my nephew. I didn't take too many pictures with my camera since I was using the big daddy camera, but I'll share pictures when I can.

The day after the wedding, Avianna, was dedicated in church. It was nice being there for that, and she looked angelic in her little poofy ivory dress. We were supposed to go to my bro's house afterwards and to celebrate, but I didn't get much celebrating done. We were there about 30 minutes and realized that Rob packed Fuzzy's bottles in the wrong bag. So we had a hungry baby with no formula. I tried to feed him some solid food, but he didn't really want it. So I made the 20+ minute drive back to the hotel alone. I missed a turn and got kind of lost, but I found my way back. I was upset that I had to go back for the bottles and then I got lost and then on top of that my mom called my cell phone complaining about how long I was taking to get back. This is from the woman that made a 5 hour drive an 8+ hour drive because they got lost on the way to TX! Then my bro called me a couple of times because my mom was bothering him about it. And I just lost it. All of the pent up anger and frustration from the last few weeks at work and the issues with Fuzzy just came to a head. And I went off on my mom when I got back to the house. I know I said somethings I shouldn't have, but her nagging just set me off. I was hoping this weekend would be a nice time where I wouldn't feel like I was being berated for one thing or another, but her comments ruined the rest of my day. She's not really talking to me that much right now, and I know I will apologize just because it's my mom. Next time I will just have to avoid her.

I'm currently planning Fuzzy's birthday party which is getting bigger and bigger and bigger. We've decided to have it in the gym at our church since my house is not set up for a party of this size. Also this will allow everyone to get in the air conditioning if they are not on the playground with the kids. I still can't believe that my little man will be 1 in a matter of weeks. Time really has flown by.