Thursday, November 13, 2008

My Flower

I still can't believe it's been 2 1/2 years since my daughter was born and died all in the same day. It seems like yesterday when I was pregnant with her, yet it seems like forever since I've seen her. Her little face used to be so fresh in my memory, but now she's like a dream. I used to wonder, more like hope, the whole thing was one huge bad dream. I wanted to be like a soap opera star and wake up after what seems like years and years with nothing wrong. I would wake up still pregnant with my little princess, and my world would be whole. I still fantasize about how different my life would be now. Thinking about this brings me back to when I was in 7th grade our literature teacher had us read The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, and also we had to memorize the poem that Ponyboy recites in it. I've never forgotten that poem by Robert Frost, but I never truly understood it until Madison became my angel.

Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay.
-- Robert Frost

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