Sunday, September 21, 2008

First Visit

Well, I was able to get a couple of hours off to go on the visit, and I'm glad that I did. We got lost trying to find the office since L gave Rob the worst freaking directions. The meeting place was in a town about 30 minutes away, but since both of us went to college there we know our way around. Instead of telling him the most direct route, she supposedly gave him an easier way to get there and didn't even give him the street address. Hell if we had the address we could have just put it in the GPS and let it guide us if we needed it. She gave him all kinds of "landmarks" to look for that were no where near the office. And the biggest and most well known landmark that's right across the street she didn't even mention. We ended up being about 20 minutes late for the visit. But I could care less because L had enough time to leave the office to go get the mom, but couldn't get transportation for R to get there.

When we walked in his mom came out of no where and grabbed him from me, and started slathering him with kisses while his little head bobbled back and forth like a bobble head doll. L reminded her to support his head. Rob ended up supervising the visit for about 20 minutes while L and I went to her office to discuss my problems. She apologised for not helping us more, and started calling the doctors to get things taken care of so R can get his records transferred to a doctor here. Hopefully that problem will be over soon. I'm tired of playing phone tag with doctors and Medicaide.

I didn't get a good look at R's mom when we got there, but I got plenty of time to check her out since we were in the room with her the whole time. The biggest impression I got from her is that she is young and completely inexperienced at taking care of a baby. She seems a little "slow" if you get my drift. She was dressed like thug too which makes me wonder even more about her and what she's in to right now. I couldn't help but feel sorry for her because you can see that she cares for R, and didn't want to let him go when the visit ended. The last thing I want is for him to be moved into the care of someone that's not ready and has no support. I want him to have the best life possible. But at the same time we're getting more and more attached to him. Our whole family is getting attached to him. It hasn't even been 2 weeks, and I don't want to think about him not being here.

When we were getting ready to leave, I let her put him in his car seat and showed her how to buckle him in. She told us thank you. I told her I was praying for her. It's all I can do. I'm praying for everyone that's involved.

Here's some more pictures of our little man that I took last week.


niobe said...

Such sweet pictures.

mesa said...

Ashley.. it's good to hear how your first visit went.. thanks for sharing.. You are an amazing mother to be so aware of what the other mother is feeling and going thru.

Dream Mommy said...

I totally forgot to mention how they transport parents no questions asked in my email. What you mentioned is so typical, as well as supervising visits. Bad news, if mom is "slow" TPR will take FOREVER. Be prepared for her to start bringing nasty clothes to change him into during visits, no matter how nice you dress him.

Kris said...

I'm so glad you were able to go to the visit, and also able to straighten some things out with the worker. I'm praying for all of you!
p.s. Isn't it amazing how quickly you attach??? You try to keep guarded, but it's so hard...