Sick and Tired

I'm so f***ing tired of seeing pregnant people everywhere I go. I have no where to hide, to just be away from all the "perfect" people. I thought last night would be relaxing since I didn't have to run the computer during the service, but nope I was wrong. Everywhere I look I see this sh*t. Why does everyone else in the world except for a few people get to have babies like they are cats in heat? This woman walks into the service with 4 kids and the oldest might have been 5 and she's pregnant again!!! I can't get to take one baby home and there are people that have them like it's nothing. If you can afford that many kids fine, but where the hell is the fairness in life for those of us who keep getting kicked in the teeth every month.

Dayspring Revival

This week my church is having a revival. The minister that's in charge and running the show is Rev. Wesley Putnam. This man is amazing! He does everything with the help of his wife. They do a bible learning hour with the kids. And then he does the service for everyone. Tonight is the 3rd night and I can't wait to see what he does this time. His messages are not the typical "preacher and sermon". He does it as a drama. He teaches about a person in the bible in a setting from today. For example one was Elisha, the Bronx cop. You have to see it for yourself to really understand.

I've lucked out this week and found some understudies to run the computer overheads for me. It's nice to really be a part of the service and just relax and enjoy myself.

The Title

The title of my blog was suggested to me by my husband, Robert. He's a huge Metallica fan and came up with this one within minutes. I've grown to really love the group over the years, but I was unfamilier with this song until now. The lyrics are amazing. It's like everything I've been feeling for the last year was spit out on a piece of paper. Like someone was able to open my brain and my heart and turn it into a song.

I don't know how to live through this hell
Woken up, I'm still locked in this shell
Frozen soul, frozen down to the core
Break the ice, I can't take anymore

Freezing, can't move at all
Screaming, can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out I'm trapped under ice

Crystallized as I lay here and rest
Eyes of glass stare directly at death
From deep sleep I have broken away
No one knows, no one hears what I say

Freezing, can't move at all
Screaming, can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out I'm trapped under ice

Scream from my soul
Fate mystified
Hell forevermore

No release from my cryonic state
What is this? I've been stricken by fate
Wrapped up tight, cannot move, can't break free
Hand of doom has a tight grip on me

Freezing, can't move at all
Screaming, can't hear my call
I am dying to live
Cry out I'm trapped under ice

Words and Music by James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and Kirk HammettCopyright © 1984 Creeping Death Music (ASCAP)International Copyright Secured All Rights Reserved

I'm such a follower sometimes

I've seen so many of my friend's blog different aspects of their lives, and now it's my turn. I'm not even sure where to start so I guess I'll just say hi to everyone I know and everyone that finds their way here. Since I'm sitting at working waiting for a huge file to convert to PDF, I won't go into too much detail right now. But I will soon. Be back later.